This past Thanksgiving, our family of five and a few friends ate dinner on
folding tables and camp chairs alongside a rented 40-foot RV. And it was
transformative.
I usually turn into a stressed-out crazy person when preparing holiday
dinners (or any family meal for that matter!), making mealtime a minefield
for my family. But the different setting created a different me. Not
knowing what the ideal RV Thanksgiving would look like, I had no
unrealistic expectations of myself or anyone else. I delegated everything
possible, ordering a smoked turkey from a highly reviewed local food truck
and desserts from a nearby bakery. Most importantly, I embraced the excuse
to scale back, keeping side-dishes simple and replacing my china and linen
with paper plates and napkins. My relaxed attitude made everyone more
willing to pitch in and the meal was more memorable as a result – not
because of the food or ambience, but for the shared time together.
Benefits of the family meal
According to the FamilyDinnerProject.org, having these shared family
experiences on a consistent, weekly basis has immense benefits for
children, regardless of how fancy the meal is. Studies show that children
who grow up having regular family meals have higher academic performance
with an increased vocabulary level; improved eating habits and health
(including lower risk of obesity); reduction in the high-risk teenage
behaviors feared most by parents (such as smoking, binge drinking,
marijuana use, violence, school problems, eating disorders and sexual
activity); and lower rates of depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts.
These benefits are not derived directly from fruits and vegetables, but
from the attitude and consistency of getting together as a family.
Take a shortcut
No time to prep for meals and no food truck nearby? Consider utilizing a
meal kit service such as Blue Apron or HelloFresh to do some of the
planning and grocery shopping for you. Or maybe enlist a grocery delivery
service such as Peapod to gather the ingredients for your favorite recipes.
Other services, such as Territory, simplify things further by providing
fully cooked meals that you pick up at designated locations. Check out
TheScramble.com for more ideas on simplifying family meal preparation.
Think outside dinnertime
Everyone gathers for Thanksgiving dinner, but work, school and activity
schedules may preclude regular family dinners on other days. Focus on what
is possible, whether it’s making breakfast, Sunday brunch or afterschool
snack time the main family meal. Food doesn’t even have to be involved to
gather everyone around the table for a quick check-in and daily reflection.
Keep it light and spice it up
The benefits of family meals are linked to the atmosphere in which they
take place. To encourage healthy eating and conversation, stay relaxed and
engaged and avoid grilling kids about undone chores or homework. Keep
mealtime a No Hassle Zone. Lowering our expectations on manners and
ignoring sibling spats by shining the light on what’s right can keep them
coming back for more. Check out TableTopics.com for questions to start
great conversations, or try a few of these:
-
If you could have any super power, what would it be and why?
-
If you had a time machine for a day, what would you do with it?
-
What’s your first childhood memory?
-
If we could go anywhere you wanted on vacation, where would you
choose? Why? -
If you could have a conversation with anyone in history, who would
it be? -
Would you rather live in a castle, on a boat or on a cloud?
-
If you were invisible, where would you go and what would you do?
For fun, try mixing things up by picnicking outdoors or, in colder weather,
on the living room floor. Dine by candlelight or on Grandma’s prized china.
Schedule regular theme nights when kids can choose music or decorations to
match the menu.
Turn it all off
Televisions, smart phones, computers, tablets … turn them off or keep
them out of the room to eliminate distractions. Having electronics on or
nearby negates the benefits of dining as a family. In fact, a study by
researchers at the University of Missouri found that American
kindergartners who watched TV during dinner were more likely to be
overweight by the time they were in third grade. Need to keep them at the
table longer? Set a timer for half an hour with the request that everyone
stay seated for the full thirty minutes – even if they wolf down their meal
in five. At our Thanksgiving table, everyone piles their phone in the
middle of the table with the first one reaching for it in charge of clean
up. Talk about keeping them in their chairs!
Don’t go it alone
Include your kids in the planning, shopping and preparing – they’re usually
more willing to make something work when it’s their idea! The training can
be time consuming in the short term, but will pay big dividends over time.
Realize that memorable mealtime habits aren’t formed overnight. Try adding
just one meal a week to your routine or introducing one new idea to improve
the dinner dynamic. My family’s next Thanksgiving may not be at the same
location, but I will definitely approach it with the same attitude.
Mealtime Resources
- BlueApron.com
- HelloFresh.com
- HomeChef.com
- BiteMeals.com
- Plated.com
- Freshly.com
- Peapod.com
- TheFamilyDinnerProject.com
- TheScramble.com
- TableTopics.com
- family.disney.com/recipes/